everAFTER magazine

View Original

Advice - be yourselves!

By Viktoria Novak

Planning your wedding should be an exciting time in your life. Yes it can be stressful, but it should also be fun and enjoyable, and that’s why sticking to a plan and going with your gut feeling is so important. Many brides thrive on and enjoy styling and planning their dream wedding. To help you along the journey of the planning process you’ll seek advice and opinions from industry professionals and from family or friends. I’ll be honest, being a former bride myself and now being in the fashion and bridal industry, planning your wedding can be very overwhelming, and naturally we turn to others for support, guidance and advice. However that raises one question, whose advice and opinion really counts and how many opinions do you need before it all becomes too much? 

Receiving an opinion here and there is important. We all appreciate advice and sometimes we really need to hear honest words, but my advice to you is, remember to be your own person and when you make decisions, be comfortable and confident with those decisions. 

I see and speak to so many brides and I see many of those brides being influenced on big decisions. I’ve seen too many brides throughout my 10 years in business, have decisions made on their behalf or be swayed by what someone else thinks, only for the bride to later regret that decision. An example of this happened last year, when I created a beautiful custom crown for a bride, incorporating vintage components from a crown that her grandmother wore on her wedding day in the 1950s. Her grandmother’s crown meant the world to her, and it had so much meaning behind it. When my bride collected her crown from my boutique, she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bride so emotional and happy before. It was such a special moment. However what had been such a highlight, later turned into sadness when the bride’s dressmaker gave their opinion and advised her not to wear the crown. It hurts me to write this… but she listened to them. I had no idea at the time until I received a phone call two days after the wedding. 

The bride was in tears and felt such regret about her decision and all because she had listened to someone else’s opinion. It still breaks my heart to this day and it’s because I know how much that crown meant to her and I know the story behind it.

What I’ve learnt over the years is that sometimes it’s best to keep things to yourself and not worry what others may think. Sometimes you need to stand-up for yourself and do what’s important by you. So many of the brides I work with love keeping their headpiece or crown as a surprise and not because they don’t want to share the exciting news with everyone but because it’s something sentimental and special to them.

With so many options and online platforms of inspiration available to us it can all become very overwhelming and often we start questioning our decisions. Is my dress ok? Are you sure wearing my hair up suits me? What happens if my groom doesn’t like my makeup or he thinks it’s all too much? There is no hiding the fact that many decisions need to be made along the way, so this leads me to my other piece of advice. My number one tip that I share with all my brides, ‘Be Yourself’. It’s a simple thing, but with so many people in our ears, telling us what they think is best, it can all become too much and it’s then that we forget about what’s important… ourselves.

Be comfortable with your decisions, follow your gut (that never lies, believe me) and remember you’ll never be able to make everyone happy, that’s just life! Remember, it’s your wedding day, you’ll do this once and you’ll want to make the most of it. You’ll want it to be special, amazing and unforgettable. Forget all the hype and just remember, as long you and your fiancé are true to yourselves that’s all that matters. So, if you want to wear peacocks on your head and have goats at your wedding, then do it because that’s you and there is nothing wrong with being yourself! 

 

Picture from Christy and Jakes day their full wedding feature here | wearing Viktoria Novak crown | Photo by Steve and Sally